Ima Demo Aitai Yo

Hi, I am posting this from the beach.. Here are some of my mind thoughts:

I am going to start going up to every hot girl and ask then for some cells from their inner cheek so I can clone them and have 50 hot girls in my brain. Then I am going to extract their brain so they only have to eat once a month like a snake. This will also make skull fucking them much easier.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUB1xSAAADk

THE PLAYOFFS ARE HERE!

The REAL Taco Bell Tribute Song

Funny Brothers Paint Crew

A Tribute to Taco Bell

BREAKING NEWS: CIVILIZATION WILL END IN 3 YEARS

Time to add another certainty to the growing list of Earth catastrophes set to occur in 2012: Supermassive solar superstorms.

So what actually is it?

Solar storms do not normally cause much concern. Swarms of electrically charged subatomic particles from the Sun periodically buffet the Earth and its surroundings, causing health worries for astronauts and the owners of satellites, whose delicate electronics can be fried.

But down on the surface, cocooned under an ocean of air, we rarely notice more than the pretty lights in the sky, created as the electrically charged particles from the Sun sweep into the Earth's own magnetic field to generate the Northern and Southern Lights.

But every now and then, the Sun is convulsed by a gigantic tempest: 50,000-mile-wide eddies of boiling hydrogen plasma on its surface ejecting a billion-tonne, malevolent blob of crackling-charged gas into space at a million miles an hour.

And, very occasionally, one of these mighty coronal mass ejections, as they are called, smacks into the Earth head-on.

Once the massive solar superstorm of super proportions thrashes the Earth with its mighty heated wings of fury, the sequence of the events, according to expert astronomers, will look something like this:

First, all of the Earth's Trees will evaporate, spreading a majestic green mist that will cover the entire planet. This will intially be received as a joyous miracle, for now every man, woman and child will be able to find their lost baseballs once hidden beneath the dense foliage.

However, screams will begin to cry out once all of Earth's children will begin to disintegrate into dust, leaving behind a plethora of milky white souls for the sun God to feast upon. The dense, white part of the image shown below is an extreme close up of the United States during the soul extraction procedure.

Finally, after many years, the planet will have become one with the sun God and remain a benevolent protector of the last remaining human civilization located on a secret the moon base, Truthpaste Metropolis.

420

http://i.gizmodo.com/5219983/taking-the-670-volcano-vaporizer-for-a-test-drive

Iraq War Video Game!

http://videogames.yahoo.com/events/plugged-in/new-game-based-on-iraq-war-sparks-anger-outrage/1302257

THE MOST HIGHLY ANTICIPATED FILM OF 2009

NEW PRODUCT HITS THE OPEN MARKET

But really.

TRUTHPASTE

MERCH.

Stunning Plot Twist On This Week's LOST!

Watch this week's LOST on ABC to find out why!

Introducing...

Snakes on a Plane. literally.

Baby pythons overpower captain and crew of 747 plane; make daring, first-ever snake-operated landing.

Pirates! duped by dolphins? earth's future?

Dolphins are probably one of the smartest animals to ever live on this great green planet. This article features dolphins protecting our waters from sea fairing terrorists, using a keen special ability that would make even Bruce Wayne a little jealous.

http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/15/china-reports-dolphins-foiled-pirate-attack/

Dolphins scour the oceans looking to gangbang sharks and other asshole sea dirges. My only guess is that in 2012 they will move into their next stage of evolution, taking the place of humans by sprouting legs and arms (becoming more human), moving out of the oceans and attacking humans with tridents and/or drowning them in blowhole water while they slee at night. They will be unstoppable for they will not know how to control their new found lust for human blood. Dolphins will then pave the way for other oceanic creatures to rise out of the oceans and become land dwellers (whales, manatees, sea lions ohmy!). This sea to land movement will be dreadful for our native land animals and will disrupt their ecosystem if they do not fight back. Land animals will not possess the firepower to fight back against the dolphins and will be phased out along with humans, leaving dolphins as earth kings...I believe they will look something like this.....

<

"i fuckin' double dog dare ya' to throw one more plastic bottle into my milky diamond ocean"

GNN

This blog needs a theme song. Please vote for your favorite in the comments section.

Candidate #1:


Candidate #2:


Candidate #3:

NEW PRODUCT HITS THE OPEN MARKET

go go demon henchmen!!!!

We all loved power rangers when we were young chips and chaps, but what happened to the rainbow colored super heroes over the past 10 years? Let's take a stroll down memory lane to a place where high schooler's fight with enormous pig-headed monsters, hang out at gyms and drink smoothies all day, have bad hair and positive dispositions, everyone knows karate, and talk to giant faces that float and live in water....oh did i leave out the fact that 6 kids are in control of a few giant animal robots with armed with weapons of mass d(isney)estruction.

the behemoth floating head zordon

"i need a few minutes alone with the pink and yellow rangers...
big z gotta get some of dat'"

from wikipedia:

"Power Rangers, a long-running American children's television series, originated from the Japanese tokusatsu Super Sentai Series. The American producers did not simply make an English dub of the original, but rather put together a "new" production with English-speaking actors spliced in with the original Japanese footage in varying ratios. Due to the very Japanese nature of many of the Super Sentai Series' stories and design, the American shows vary detail to appeal to a Western audience. A Power Ranger, a fictional individual, "morphs" from a person into a powerful superhero — generally wearing a color-coded battle suit usually made of spandex or other skin-tight material and a helmet with an opaque visor. In many cases, the helmet serves to protect his or her secret identity. In some cases, more powerful Rangers may have extra shielding on their suit to protect them from strong blows.

Since its american debut in 1993, the Power Rangers franchise has had 16 different spinoffs, with 16 different theme songs. I felt compelled to search for these theme songs online, on a little website, you guys may have heard of it....YOUTUBE... for shits and giggles, what i found was very odd to say the least...

It's a shame to see great song writing lost to the hands of the disney corporation. Before Disney came along, the deep emotional connectivity of those tunes flowed through our souls. Played at our birthday parties, proms, halloween stores, weddings, and yes even barmitzvah's, the songs stayed true to their fans, great music with a positive message....until power rangers RPM came along, then it was like watching two beautiful unicorns make love, and then mickey mouse taking a liquid shit into a funnel and dribbling it all over them. fuck u disney, u took a liquid shit all over my childhood. theend.

PIRATES!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090414/ap_on_re_af/piracy;_ylt=AuSiM2n9ZA3u.PxxrnjyGSEazJV4

Hullo

a short tribute to our favorite animal!



enjoy screms

Rubber Snakes and Excel Spreadsheets

April 14th is

Pohela Boishakh.

That's Phonecian for the Bengali new year. In Bangladesh, it's the year 5111. Judging how Bangladesh has been doing for the past... since its independence from Pakistan, I'm pretty content with the past. Just FYI, future, we surprisingly make it past 2012 and global warming is really a cactuswoman.

Also, on this day in the Bengali year of 5017 during the War to End All Wars (followed shortly thereafter by much more gigantic and much more popular war) Turkish forces invaded Armenia in one of the last military actions of the Ottoman Empire. Yes, the empire broke up shortly after the war but that didn't stop leftover Ottoman forces from hanging out and fulfilling their tender promise of armenian genocide!!! all the way through to 1919! Allow me to graph this phenomena.

In conclusion, bloodthirsty Bengali rituals demand aremenian babyflesh.

Easter

Today, Zesus came back from the dead and sprinkled his merchants with bliss, tigris leaf, and finely minced meadow.

fun facts, young brains, old brains.

Hello, my name is Horse Phenomenal, but most young horses call me Horse Phenom. Here are some things you may find interesting to read with your eyes.

-In 1814, 9 people were killed dead in London when 323,000 gallons of cold hard crimson beer burst out of the vats of a brewery and stormed the streets, drowning and killing people dead.

-Jim Creighton, believed to be the first professional baseball player, threw the first fastball and completed the first recorded triple play in baseball. However, it is believed that he died from swinging a baseball bat too hard and rupturing his bladder.

-In 1919, 21 people were killed and 150 injured in Boston (suck it, Celtics), when a tank containing over 2 MILLLLLION gallons of viscous, sticky molasses EXPLODED, and sent a wave of molasses churning through the street. Waves of thick tarry molasses, ranging from 8-40 feet tall, moving at over 35 miles an hour swept through the streets, drowning and suffocating animals and humans alike. Sweet-smelling, warm rushes of air from the explosion sent people flying off their feet, derailed a train, and sent a truck flying into the harbor. People, dogs, and most unfortunately, horses were killed in this dastardly twist of fate. Rest in Peace.

Wow, reading up on all that stuff was kind of depressing. Dogs and horses dying in rivers of molasses, coughing with their little animal lungs trying to live. Typical Boston bullshit. I didn't intend for this post to be a deathfest, but life is funny like that; one second you're sifting through a meadow of interesting facts on the internet and the next thing you know, you're chin-deep in molasses river bursts, swimming through fields of syrupy bodies and streets.

Tomorrow is my fake Easter, since i'm a half-Greek Piece of crap and Greek Easter isn't for another few weeks and with that, i leave you with this happy picture, to bring you happy thoughts of friendship, Jesus coming back to life for a day.. and also benevolence and young animals.

Stay warm.

Jack Bauer.. Contaminated and Castrated?

If you have been staying up to date on 24 this season you know that Jack Bauer has recently been contaminated and infected with a biological weapon developed in Africa by a rogue militia hired by the U.S. government. You may think the most interesting part of this season is the imminent attack on U.S. soil by this militia, but I have something else for you to ponder.



Allow me to explain:


So as Jack Bauer is being his normal self jumping on top of trucks with terrible biological weapons in them he causes it to crash into some crap on the side of the road. He jumps in the driver door as the truck is flying down the highway and with one swift punch and tug the 'highly skilled' drive goes tumbling out the door. Jack pulls the truck over and notices some damage on the container holding the bio weapon. He can hear a slight sizzle of leaking gas and decides to go into the truck to see what's up. The gas is leaking out and he disables the one tank that is damaged out of the many that are in the truck. Anyways long story short, Jack is infected and he has to take his clothes off to be cleaned by the CDC (Center for Disease Control.)



"Oh man I'm infected"










"Now they are going to see what the Chinese did to my penis :("







"Dear god I hope they don't stare at my urethra tube"






"WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT THING WHERE HIS PENIS SHOULD BE!?"





Instead of a penis and two testicles, Jack has only a small lump of sack left and 4 centimeters of a CapriSun straw tube urethra dick. There is no shaft, no head and by no means any balls.

Paradigm shift

Epistemologist and historian Thomas Kuhn used the duck-rabbit optical illusion to demonstrate the way in which a paradigm shift could cause one to see the same information in an entirely different way.

Who gives a fuck.

Today I was on Facebook. I scrolled up and down the page for somebody to mock and found myself in a calypsonian warp of anger. Then I stumbled upon this:

Would you be willing to murder an innocent person if it would end hunger in the world?

Oh gods that is deep.....

First of all there are plenty of innocent people I would love to murder, but the only problem with that is, is that I do not want to get rid of world hunger. There are too many people on this world to begin with. Cancer, AIDs, World Hunger, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Scarlett Fever, Leprosy and The Gout are just a few diseases I wish would become more rampant.

That is all. God day sir.

UPCOMING SHOW

It's real. Die in your own river.

the wolf drama begins

Welcome to the internet.

We are all freewulves here.

Zemons, Zemonds, and other Croastables

Welcome. The new era starts now.

I find it funny when people say the word "is" twice in a row in phrases such as "The funny thing is- is that... I don't even like wulfblud." instead of just saying "The funny thing is that I don't even like wulfblud" or the even-simpler: "The funny thing is, I don't even like wulfblud."

This is the first of many anecdotal clippings and who knows what else. Til next time, this is Persons Wulf signing off.