fun facts, young brains, old brains.

Hello, my name is Horse Phenomenal, but most young horses call me Horse Phenom. Here are some things you may find interesting to read with your eyes.

-In 1814, 9 people were killed dead in London when 323,000 gallons of cold hard crimson beer burst out of the vats of a brewery and stormed the streets, drowning and killing people dead.

-Jim Creighton, believed to be the first professional baseball player, threw the first fastball and completed the first recorded triple play in baseball. However, it is believed that he died from swinging a baseball bat too hard and rupturing his bladder.

-In 1919, 21 people were killed and 150 injured in Boston (suck it, Celtics), when a tank containing over 2 MILLLLLION gallons of viscous, sticky molasses EXPLODED, and sent a wave of molasses churning through the street. Waves of thick tarry molasses, ranging from 8-40 feet tall, moving at over 35 miles an hour swept through the streets, drowning and suffocating animals and humans alike. Sweet-smelling, warm rushes of air from the explosion sent people flying off their feet, derailed a train, and sent a truck flying into the harbor. People, dogs, and most unfortunately, horses were killed in this dastardly twist of fate. Rest in Peace.

Wow, reading up on all that stuff was kind of depressing. Dogs and horses dying in rivers of molasses, coughing with their little animal lungs trying to live. Typical Boston bullshit. I didn't intend for this post to be a deathfest, but life is funny like that; one second you're sifting through a meadow of interesting facts on the internet and the next thing you know, you're chin-deep in molasses river bursts, swimming through fields of syrupy bodies and streets.

Tomorrow is my fake Easter, since i'm a half-Greek Piece of crap and Greek Easter isn't for another few weeks and with that, i leave you with this happy picture, to bring you happy thoughts of friendship, Jesus coming back to life for a day.. and also benevolence and young animals.

Stay warm.

Jack Bauer.. Contaminated and Castrated?

If you have been staying up to date on 24 this season you know that Jack Bauer has recently been contaminated and infected with a biological weapon developed in Africa by a rogue militia hired by the U.S. government. You may think the most interesting part of this season is the imminent attack on U.S. soil by this militia, but I have something else for you to ponder.



Allow me to explain:


So as Jack Bauer is being his normal self jumping on top of trucks with terrible biological weapons in them he causes it to crash into some crap on the side of the road. He jumps in the driver door as the truck is flying down the highway and with one swift punch and tug the 'highly skilled' drive goes tumbling out the door. Jack pulls the truck over and notices some damage on the container holding the bio weapon. He can hear a slight sizzle of leaking gas and decides to go into the truck to see what's up. The gas is leaking out and he disables the one tank that is damaged out of the many that are in the truck. Anyways long story short, Jack is infected and he has to take his clothes off to be cleaned by the CDC (Center for Disease Control.)



"Oh man I'm infected"










"Now they are going to see what the Chinese did to my penis :("







"Dear god I hope they don't stare at my urethra tube"






"WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT THING WHERE HIS PENIS SHOULD BE!?"





Instead of a penis and two testicles, Jack has only a small lump of sack left and 4 centimeters of a CapriSun straw tube urethra dick. There is no shaft, no head and by no means any balls.

Paradigm shift

Epistemologist and historian Thomas Kuhn used the duck-rabbit optical illusion to demonstrate the way in which a paradigm shift could cause one to see the same information in an entirely different way.

Who gives a fuck.

Today I was on Facebook. I scrolled up and down the page for somebody to mock and found myself in a calypsonian warp of anger. Then I stumbled upon this:

Would you be willing to murder an innocent person if it would end hunger in the world?

Oh gods that is deep.....

First of all there are plenty of innocent people I would love to murder, but the only problem with that is, is that I do not want to get rid of world hunger. There are too many people on this world to begin with. Cancer, AIDs, World Hunger, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Scarlett Fever, Leprosy and The Gout are just a few diseases I wish would become more rampant.

That is all. God day sir.

UPCOMING SHOW

It's real. Die in your own river.